Panel 1: A fat anthro salmon, Carmen, lies in bed, staring blankly at her phone. She sighs and internally laments “Another hopeless night on Findr.”
Panel 2: Carmen rejects the profiles of Dionaea, a plant-themed cat, Teknit, a purple goth frog, and Quinn, a strange brown thing.
Panel 3: The profile of a beautiful catfish named Totally Real Woman. Her photo shows her doing a kissy face. She is wearing a revealing outfit, and has makeup and large breasts. Her profile reads “Hi I am Real Woman I Enjoy Activities and Financially Stable Women.”
Panel 4: Carmen is still in bed looking at her phone, but she has a goofy, lovestruck expression, and text reading “AWOOGA” is visible.
Panel 5: A closeup of Carmen’s hand holding her phone. On screen is a text conversation with Totally Real Woman and a note reading that they matched. Carmen texts “hey baby are you a hot air balloon? bc youre hot and you make my thingy go up 🎈🎈🎈”.
Woman replies, “Sure, I can generate a flirtatious reply to that message. ‘Hello, cutie, you’re not just handsome, you’re also charming— we should meet up at Sharkey’s Dive Bar for drinks.’”
Carmen replies, “hell yeah, see you there sexy ❤️❤️” [sexy is written with several y’s]
Panel 6: Cut to Carmen and Woman, sitting at a small table in a dimly lit restaurant. Carmen looks nervous. Woman looks happy, but unlike her profile picture, she has a shorter fin, no makeup, and normal-sized breasts under a non-sexy sweater. Carmen says, “So… Uh… You don’t look much like your pictures.”
Woman says, “ORF!”
Carmen says, “No, no, it’s fine.”
Woman says: “OR! OR! OR!”
Carmen says, “Yeah, I can pay. Just gaZelle me when you get home.”
Woman says, “ORF!” Its speech bubble is surrounded by hearts.